oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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