and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
