Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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