the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Someone shattered a urinal.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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