I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
