make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
