I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
