dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
