I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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