I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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