I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think people are normalizing furries
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
