Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
