To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
