Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
