I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
