Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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