Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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