lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
