Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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