I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
