Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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