do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize