I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So vagazzling was a success
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
