Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
