Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
