I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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