I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
