dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
