watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
