I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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