My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
