it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
