We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
