Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
