I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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