i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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