the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize