Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I smell stomach acid.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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