ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
