I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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