maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
