I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
