ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
