I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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