Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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