I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
