is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
