I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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