The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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