So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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