u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
