she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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