I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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