Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
