she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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