mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.