it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i now understand why vodka
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
