Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
