addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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