i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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