Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
