you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
