we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
