Screwed.edu
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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