my mouth tastes like poor choices
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Randomize
