I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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