I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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